You want a whole fried fish to go? Sure, no problem. Porfavor, espera aqui, and in about 10 minutes or so I'll return with it, tail sticking out of one of those thin plastic bags from the grocery store - hot off the deep-fryer. I about lost my lunch on this scene earlier at the restaurant. Normally I'd be okay, but I was still nauseous after giving myself an injection of strong antibiotics. Where did I give myself an injection? That's a tough question. I could answer it a couple ways: lying sideways on the backseat of my truck in the parking lot of Buddys, or directly in my butt cheek. Both would be correct. It's an interesting sensation, pushing a needle over an inch long into your skin, through the layers into the fat, popping through on your way to muscle. It's better if you don't look, or go slowly the first time. Trust me on both counts.
I'm pretty sure I have a bacterial deal in my gut, i.e. Salmonella or something similar. The medicines the doctor prescribed (with his one good eye and mangled hand) seem to be doing the trick, so I think we guessed correctly on the illness. You can see by the picture how excited I am about my first shot at the house. Look at that face. The other fun part of this whole thing is: the medicine has to be mixed. I opened up the box to find a vial of liquid with a glass top that has to be shattered, another vial of powder that will ultimately hold the sweet mix I'd be shooting into my behind, a syringe (in only one of the three boxes) that had to be assembled, and a little wipey for my skin. Que suerte. Thank God I had seen a couple episodes of ER before it got really bad, or I may not have known how to deal with the whole situation. I made sure all the air was out of the syringe and that I was lying down in case I passed out. I feel like I should have had a little tequila before, but I wasn't sure how the meds would do mixing with it. I noticed, right before sticking the needle into me, that it was wide and hollow... like I'd be taking a core sample of my butt ala some artic-ice-sample to analyze the layers and prove global warming was true. I love needles. How did I spend my 30th birthday? Mostly in the bed, partly staring at the blue tiles in my bathroom.
How will I spend my Easter Sunday? Sticking the final needle (hopefully) in my moneymaker.
More later, I think I need some rest.
2 comments:
Make sure you get a shot of the needle after the injection, so we can see it out of the packaging. I know how you love seeing your own blood...and cue passing out under kitchen table...slither down like a sock soaked in olive oil.
oh. my. gah.
please get well. that needle is gnarly.
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